Symphony of Life…

 

As I lay there on the bed, heartbroken and hopeless, I start losing consciousness… The reality I see fades into shades of yellow and spirals. Many many spirals. It’s as if I’m in a state of supreme imprisonment. Everything is so fucking shiny. As I drift through every possible dream and every possible outcome, it never occurred to me how this music was playing in the background. It’s like the opposite of my last connection with this surreal realm. Yet in form it is the same. A smooth smooth piano that moves in me the spirit of deep sorrow I had not experienced in so long. Drama was always there wasn’t it? Maybe just in my fucked up head.

“Why?” I say to the shadow playing that piano. “Why the hell won’t you leave me?

I’m shouting and pouting and not a single word was muttered from him. He whom I don’t know. The only wall in front of me. Yet you are not alone, Mr. Shadow. No no, there are so many more bricks in the wall than you. Everywhere I step, everywhere I speak, everywhere I goddamn breathe there’s one of you little charlatans. You pile up on top of each other and drive people back so they can’t actually build up the attitude to just ignore you. For your power is limited. Oh and how weak you all truly are in the face of innocence.

You who gang up on dreamers. You who just pop up in ones mind and throw it into chaos. But your deeds can do much more than you can think. They may lead to cowardliness, shame and regret so much that all life seems to leave ones body when thinking back on what you missed out. But, and there’s always a but, there are these rare cases that stand up to you. These fantastic beings that after years and years of feeling only fear and sadness rise and take control of their life. They just let go of it all. That’s the secret in the end isn’t it?

How can one truly move on when he knows there’s still a part inside that hopes and dreams for something that has long passed. Let it go, just let it all fucking go. Ahead there’s only more hardships, why drag such baggage with you? Embrace what comes, even if it may seem unfair. And if you happen to be in such a situation again just remember, it’s all about you in the end. Is it worth it? If you think that for a tiny second you will feel joy out of that, then go do it.

And if you think you can help someone in a single way, do it even if after you just won’t get what you expect. Because if you feel good about what you did then that’s compensation enough. And if you feel bad, think really hard why it is you’re feeling that way.

Now this may be a load of trash due to the fact that I will have no memory of this in the morning!

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Published in: on March 13, 2013 at 2:14 am  Leave a Comment  
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Feelings…

Stau si ma uit la poze…amintiri imi trec prin minte cu o viteza de nedescris…nu stiu ce sa ascult…las winamp-ul pe shuffle si sper sa vina ceva pe gustul meu in momentul de fata…spre surprinderea mea a venit…holograf a reusit mereu sa ma incante in toate situatiile…romeo si julieta…ce vis frumos…trebuie sa credem in visele noastre nu?

Realizez ca pot sa scriu si cand sunt intr-o stare de fericire nu numai la tristete…va scriu pentru ca asa simt nevoia sa scriu in blog…muzica imi surade…iar o simt ca si inainte…ma inspira spre maretie…este pura pasiune…este sunetul divin…este calea spre perfectiune…este…este…este singurul lucru din univers care atinge toate fiintele si le inspira oricat de frigide sau lipsite de pasiune sunt…acesta este darul muzicii…si de aceea o iubesc…

Pentru intreaga lume voi canta…asta mi-ar place…ar fi paradisul meu…sa cant si sa inspir o lume intreaga…numai gandul imi creeaza fiori…daca ar fi sa iau acest drum as intalnii si bune si rele…de fapt orice drum ai alege in viata gasesti si bune si rele…dar pe ambele le voi iubii pentru ca asa se traieste cu adevarat…cu iubire si cu pasiune…viata aceasta trebuie traita cu pasiune si cu o intensitate maxima…ca doar o viata avem si nu stim daca ne ajunge sa iubim cat ne propunem…

Viata este o taina…un secret pe care trebuie sa-l deslusim…de aceea nu cred in destin…poate in noroc cred…dar nu in destin…destinul n-il creem singuri…de aceea este viata un secret…pentru ca niciodata nu stii ce te asteapta dupa cotitura…viata este o lumina si un intuneric…un ying si un yang…un bine si un rau…un cer si un pamant…este un dans cu noi insine…viata…este un vis…pe care n-il indeplinim…daca ar fi sa aleg ceva frumos din viata…as alege stelele…cate mistere se afla in ele…cu cata pasiune le privim…si cat ne intriga…credem in ele…putem vorbi cu ele…ne ating sufletul…si ne redau speranta…si increderea in noi insine…chiar daca se pierd ochii nostrii in noapte…si lasam ceva in urma…stelele ne readuc aproape de acel lucru pe care il lasam…

Am scris multe astazi…poate prostii…poate am debitat fara sens…poate nu am atins pe nimeni-dar poate poate…exista o persoana care sa fie inspirata de cuvintele mele…poate am ajutat pe cineva…m-as bucura…mi-ar creea un sentiment de implinire fantastic…sper doar sa fie atinse persoanele care citesc ce scriu…pentru ca scriu din tot sufletul…

Published in: on August 3, 2007 at 11:13 pm  Comments (4)  
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Sadness And Sorrow…

In sfarsit imi inteleg starea…acea stare care nu iti da pace…care se trasnforma intr-un mister…nu stii ce ai patit…nu stii ce se intampla cu tine…de ce te gandesti atat de mult…de ce nu poti sa scapi de aceasta stare…acum stiu.

Simteam nevoia sa scriu…sa ma descarc pe tine blogul meu drag…stiu ca te-am neglijat…dar nu pot sa scriu cand nu simt…cum simt acum…ar fi…ar fi insensibil…

Mie dor de ea…de ce nu mai vine acasa? Mie asa de dor…asa ma inveseleste…e o raza de soare…si cand ma gandesc…ca ea…dintr-o intamplare asa stupida mi-a schimbat viata…ma simt bine alaturi de ea…ma simt bine pentru ca ma simt la locul meu…linistit si visator…cred ca in sfarsit pot sa spun ca am gasit pe cineva care sa ma inteleaga…Mie dor de ea…vreau acoperisul cu stele…si dorinte…si vise…sa aud melodia cantata acum…clapele pianului se potrivesc asa de bine cu starea mea…nu-mi mai gasesc cuvintele…dar ma simt mai usor…acum va fi mai bine…incetul cu incetul…pentru ca te-am regasit blog drag…si amintire draga…te astept sa vi…mie dor de tine…te iubesc…

Published in: on August 1, 2007 at 9:01 pm  Comments (2)  
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