A Change Is Gonna Come…

Sometimes this feels right. This feels like it’s the only thing that people should do. That I should do. I was having this really interesting conversation with an old friend today about destiny and whether or not the decisions you make in life are worth anything or is everything laid out for you and everything is predetermined. The only conclusion I drew from this talk was that no matter the evidence, people will believe what they feel is right. And in the end that is what real values represent. I’m not saying that believing something proven wrong is OK, but if there is no way to demonstrate whether this certain theory is true or not then it may be better to go with your feelings. And everybody should just fucking accept that. Don’t push your ideas on others, just learn to love them as they are and respect their choices. Things aren’t always black and white. I believe there’s always a gray area of interpretation in these matters. And the world should just view this with arms wide open and respect everyone in the same way. We are all in the same pot if you think about it. We’re all humans and we’re all gonna pass away eventually. So why live in hate and ignorance of each other when we only have so much to lose. People are stubborn. Maybe to stubborn for their own good. Maybe they will catch on to the right way just a little bit to late. And apparently they think it’s worth risking the entire species of man just for the stubbornness of a few that planted these ideas in men’s heads.

Love is also stubborn sometimes. Whether it’s about love for ones God,ones life partner or ones child. Sometimes it’s hard to fucking let go of things. Because we implanted this absurd idea that we can’t go on without this significant other. And then we work for years and years just to let go. Just to feel free for that fragment of a moment before some other kind of love sucks us in and rapes our mind and soul. I’m not saying love is a bad thing, but when we forget about the pureness of this feeling and we turn it into obsession. No matter who you love, even if it seems impossible, you can move on. You can live long and be happy. Just don’t  let yourself get sucked in by loneliness and think that you can’t go on without someone at your side. And if you decide to spend a period of your life with someone then do it just for the simple reasons. That smile that only she can set on your face. You know the one I’m talking about. That really really pure smile that comes out of joy from the soul. Do it for that moment when you open your eyes and you see that person lying right next to you and you feel like you’re the fucking king of all existence. Just because you won her.

Whatever path in life you should take, the most important thing is to remember to feel. Remember to be pure and never let your mind talk you out of doing what you feel like. Go ahead, make your move, if this is what you found deep inside your being then just do it. The whole universe dares you to move. Let yourself get dragged through existence by this unimaginable experience. Enjoy pain, desire love, just feel alive. You can be better. Start forgiving yourself and the people around you for mistakes that never really hurt someone at all. Don’t do it for divinity or for the promise of a better future. Do it because it feels right. Do it because nothing compares to the satisfaction that fills you up and floats you high, like a hot air balloon. Sometimes I ask myself, was there anything that I could have said or done? But it’s important to remember that we live here and now. It’s important to know that the past is gone. That time is no more and it does not matter anymore. Just do it for this moment! Don’t leave the stage in the middle of a song.

But to get to the point of this here tale. I truly believe a great change is upon us. I think humanity is at a point where we need a missing link to progress as a species. I believe we lost this great thing quite some time ago and we have forgotten how to get it back. Well now it depends on what you compare this symbol to. First of all some think there will come a time of chaos and destruction because of the greed of people. Wealth is their symbol. It is the simple minded approach to the earthly issue. It’s common because money is real, it is palpable and, in the end, it’s what people apparently desire the most. The second type of people are those who believe the divine end is nearing. Irrelevant of religion, they all have this day of reckoning. This end of all things. These people believe in a higher power but they each chose to model it to their wishes and desires. They always find loopholes but they still believe their soul is saved. If you say you believe in this spiritual father then at least be honest and follow his word. If not you’re wasting everyone’s time. And by everyone I mean you as well. Lastly there are the group of people that believe that humanity is on the brink of a new era. They believe that only those pure of heart will ascend to the next state of existence. It is thought that this form we are in is just the beginning of the road for enlightenment. Those who see their body as just a container for our universal projection. We have always felt a connection to a greater power but we never really got around describing it. I think we are complicating things to much and we expect things to just work one way or the other. When all we should do is spread kindness and hope to all fellow humans. We should teach each other what love and compassion is. So that, even if this is the end and maybe we are just simple organisms in the infinity of the universe, we get to to do ourselves the favor of living for everyone and not only for yourself.

So here comes goodbye. I hope you have had a confusing and intriguing journey with some of my more or less real thoughts. The thing is that no matter how shitty things get, doing something good for someone else will always make you feel uplifted. So spread love and always give back to your fellow man.

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Published in: on April 7, 2013 at 5:07 am  Comments (1)  
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Symphony of Life…

 

As I lay there on the bed, heartbroken and hopeless, I start losing consciousness… The reality I see fades into shades of yellow and spirals. Many many spirals. It’s as if I’m in a state of supreme imprisonment. Everything is so fucking shiny. As I drift through every possible dream and every possible outcome, it never occurred to me how this music was playing in the background. It’s like the opposite of my last connection with this surreal realm. Yet in form it is the same. A smooth smooth piano that moves in me the spirit of deep sorrow I had not experienced in so long. Drama was always there wasn’t it? Maybe just in my fucked up head.

“Why?” I say to the shadow playing that piano. “Why the hell won’t you leave me?

I’m shouting and pouting and not a single word was muttered from him. He whom I don’t know. The only wall in front of me. Yet you are not alone, Mr. Shadow. No no, there are so many more bricks in the wall than you. Everywhere I step, everywhere I speak, everywhere I goddamn breathe there’s one of you little charlatans. You pile up on top of each other and drive people back so they can’t actually build up the attitude to just ignore you. For your power is limited. Oh and how weak you all truly are in the face of innocence.

You who gang up on dreamers. You who just pop up in ones mind and throw it into chaos. But your deeds can do much more than you can think. They may lead to cowardliness, shame and regret so much that all life seems to leave ones body when thinking back on what you missed out. But, and there’s always a but, there are these rare cases that stand up to you. These fantastic beings that after years and years of feeling only fear and sadness rise and take control of their life. They just let go of it all. That’s the secret in the end isn’t it?

How can one truly move on when he knows there’s still a part inside that hopes and dreams for something that has long passed. Let it go, just let it all fucking go. Ahead there’s only more hardships, why drag such baggage with you? Embrace what comes, even if it may seem unfair. And if you happen to be in such a situation again just remember, it’s all about you in the end. Is it worth it? If you think that for a tiny second you will feel joy out of that, then go do it.

And if you think you can help someone in a single way, do it even if after you just won’t get what you expect. Because if you feel good about what you did then that’s compensation enough. And if you feel bad, think really hard why it is you’re feeling that way.

Now this may be a load of trash due to the fact that I will have no memory of this in the morning!

Published in: on March 13, 2013 at 2:14 am  Leave a Comment  
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Yume no Kakera…

Simt muzica rasunandu-mi in subconstient…pluteste vrand nevrand creindu-mi iluzii si vise necontrolabile…zboara asa cum imi doresc si eu sa zbor…deasupra cerului…cu gandul departe…sa plutesc fara scop si sa simt cum totul imi este indiferent…vise copilaresti…nu renunt la ele,sunt un copil si asa voi ramane oricat ar trebui sa ma maturizez…vesnic voi avea de partea mea imaginatia…imi va fi prietena,iubita,mama,tot ce am nevoie…ma va ajuta sa ating culmile visurilor mele inimaginabile…imi va reda credinta cand voi simti ca nu mai cred…imi va reda speranta cand sunt cu moralul la pamant…imi va spune: “crezi in tine…crezi in visele tale si in viata…crezi ca totul este posibil doar daca vrei…”…vise copilaresti…

O voce imi sopteste…”nu renunta…”.Ma uit in jur,o caut,dar e de negasit…Oare sa fi fost dorinta mea?Sa fi fost visul meu care nu vrea sa fie pierdut?Cine stie ce se ascunde in capul meu?Cine stie ce imi doresc acum?Poate imi doresc sa ajung la tine…acolo departe…sa fim impreuna si sa ne uitam la stele…sau poate imi doresc sa schimb ceva…sa ajung la acea persoana…sa fiu alaturi de ea…sa ii citesc gandurile fara sa vreau…sa visam la acele lucruri atat de indepartate pe care totusi le putem atinge impreuna…la perfectiunea imperfecta care in final…e chiar mai perfecta decat perfectiunea…Vreau doar visul…atat imi doresc…lasa-ti-mi visul in pace…nu vreau sa sufere…

Published in: on July 11, 2007 at 8:58 pm  Comments (1)  
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