Autumn Winds…

Cand tot corpul iti spune lasa iubirea libera atunci trebuie sa asculti. Chiar daca stii ca risti sa doara. Durerea e parca prea placuta pentru situatia in care te afli. De data asta nu,inima mi-a spus ca viata merita. Acesti oameni incredibili mi-au transmis ca indiferent de durete,speranta va supravietui. Vei fi fericita chiar daca nu sunt eu acela care te face fericit. Asa cum fanfara canta in mijlocul zilei ca mintea mea i-a spus inimii sa creasca iubirea si ca voi gasi pe cineva ca tine chiar daca inca sper sa fie ceva intre noi. Am auzit ca esti mai fericita acum. Si imi pare rau ca nu am putut fi eu cel care ti-a adus fericirea. Imi pare rau ca am aparut asa din senin la momentul neoportun. Parca tot timpul apar in momentul nepotrivit. Din pacate pentru mine nu s-a terminat. Iti doresc tot ce e bine in lumea asta si sper sa nu ma uiti dar partea trista e ca nu simti la fel. Vreau sa-ti arat ca pot mai mult decat crezi. Vreau sa-ti demonstrez ca aceasta atmosfera nu e doar de vara trecatoare. Si tu stiu ca esti constienta de asta. Si chiar daca prietena ta ar fi mai potrivita,tu parca esti ceea ce imi doresc. Intr-o zi vom fi ingropati in rutina si ne va parea rau pentru aceste momente. Sufletul meu este aici si vrea sa fie impartit cu tine. Pur si simplu am fost trimis in bratele tale. Nu am vrut asta. Chiar ma simteam bine uitat de iubire si de atasament. Dar stii cum e,mereu cand esti in momentul tau perfect,trebuie ceva sa te dezechilibreze. Sper sa fim macar ca inainte si nu sa fie ciudat intre noi. It happend and I’m glad it did. I will hold on to hope until the whole world hits me with a humongous punch straight to the face. FUCK FUCK FUCK is what I’m thinking now. Why did I force this shit for no reason. At least I can hope for us to feel the same thing. We’re upside down right now.  You miss him too much,I’m not over her. I need freedom now and you need the same thing. Fun laughter simple things. I can give you this. I owe it to both of us. Can i lie next to you and give you my heart? Maybe. But it’s a thing for the future…

I’m clean and this is all me. I don’t have anything more or less. This is all me and this is what I feel for you. Rage takes over sometimes but you’d never be in the way of my anger. You desire my attention but deny my affections. Where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart? Maybe I fucked it up,maybe you don’t give chances,maybe it’s just this summer faze I have to go through. But this is bullshit in my eyes. Don’t leave me alone with the truth. Hold me close and be mine as I am yours.

What if I told you tomorrow that you’d never see me again? I’m leaving and I didn’t tell any of you. I’ll probably never return. Tomorrow will be the last night any of you can stop me. And I mean it right now. This is no post like the others. I’m leaving and if you want me to stay you’ll have to stop me. I will still leave but maybe I’ll return if I feel it’s worth it. I really want to stay and never come back. I’ve been hurt to many times in this shitty country to care anymore. But maybe there’s a glimmer of hope.

This is the last post I’ll be writing if I leave. I’m sorry mom,dad for this. I’m sorry everyone if I leave you. I hope you give me a reason to stay but I highly doubt it. What I think I mean is: give me a reason not to leave forever,because if I do,I swear nobody will hear of me again.

I love you all. I wish hope will overcome. PROVE THAT TO ME!

Don’t take this lightly…

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Published in: on September 9, 2011 at 3:58 am  Leave a Comment  

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