I feel as though time has come to a stand-still…I don’t know what exactly that means…but somehow I feel as though the universe has just stopped…although the universe is constantly growing and evolving…Actually to be more precise…I feel as though I have come to a stand-still…I can’t move forward…I’m stuck in a place where…strangely enough…I like to be in. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to let go of the past…I always tell people not to hang on to their past so much because they can’t move ahead anymore…well I guess this is another case where I don’ listen to my own advice…The stars are so beautiful…I wonder if they see us?I wonder if they look at us and think about us tiny creatures with an insignificant existance?I somewhat doubt it…for they never look back and just head streight forward towards their future…Summer just started…It was always me season…It was always the most beautiful of the 4 seasons…I’m turning one year older…but I can’t even feel it comming…I wish to leave this place and forget about it for some time…but I just don’t know where to go…I wish for that special summer someone that always appears when you least expect it…but there’s no one in sight…God I feel so confused…I can’t even fixate myself on a certain topic to write about…I’d love to write about how underapreciated some people are even thought they deserve so much more…I’d love to write about a person I met through wordpress and I’d love it if my readers would take a minute of their time and check out her blog cause she’s an amazing woman…I’d love to write about my decisions in life and how they’ve influenced me…I’d love to write about my dreams…but even I think they’re childish…still I wish they would just come true…But getting back to my state of mind right now…I feel as though my mind cannot move forward…there’s some invisible barrier that’s blocking my way and I have no way to overcome it…The sad part is that there’s no one here that understands this and everyone thinks I’m just stupid and unrealistic…and I can’t be strong anymore…even mountains crumble sometimes…So I’d like to ask for some advice…Cause I have no idea how to go on…For the first time in so long I feel the need to talk to someone…I’ve never felt this way and it frustrates me…I wish someone would just open a door for me because I feel so cornered and angry and sad and so many other feelings I can’t put into words…I can’t go on helping people if I can’t help myself…I’m in a moment in my life where I need to make so many choices and I don’t know what to choose…So please…just this once…Give me a hand…cause I’m really feeling as though I’m losing it…and I can’t afford that feeling…not now anyway…

Published in: on June 16, 2008 at 10:26 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So, I just wrote you the whole awe-inspiring comment about how great you are and how the world is changed for the better because of those childish dreams and how great life is because of it…and how helping people is great and is a wonderful way to reconnect with yourself…it was a pretty great message…although I have to admit I really don’t remember half of what I wrote…but it was good, damn it!! 😉 I went to send the comment, and low and behold the wireless connection drops out…so I will have to write anther awe-inspiring message later…but know this, you are great!

  2. You write so well, you really should blog more often!!

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